Being Shunned for Having Cancer

Good news travels fast but bad news travels at lighting speed.  When I was diagnosed with cancer, the news was shared with a small group of family and friends, trying to keep it private as I tried to wrap my mind around it all.  Silly me, before I knew it, I felt like I had gone viral on social media.  I received non-stop calls and text messages.  It was nice to know so many people cared but it was so exhausting.

Unfortunately, the good intentions of some of my friends and family turned into an awkward situation.  For me, in-person visits were kept to a minimum due to the wonderful side effects I would endure, including easily catching any bug someone had.  Nevertheless, a group of my friends came to visit me at my house when I was feeling better.  I welcomed them in, offered them something to drink and we sat down and started talking.  I noticed they looked a bit horrified and uneasy.  I figured they don’t know how to react to my situation since we were young.  I needed to go get a scarf because my bald head was starting to get cold.  When I was walking back, I overheard them trying to figure out if cancer was contagious.  One friend said that’s why I’m not drinking anything just in case its contagious, I don’t want to catch this disease.  Another friend said, I don’t want to catch it either, that’s why I didn’t hug her.  They stopped talking as I made noise advising them that I was making my way back into the living room.  They asked me more questions in which I answered trying to educate them but I saw the ongoing terrified look on their faces so I told them thank you for visiting with me but that I was really fatigue and needed to get some rest so they left.

Fast forward two years, one of my friends from this group had her brother who was diagnosed with cancer.  I went to go visit with her and her family and she pulled me aside and told me how scared she was for her brother.  She told me about how she felt and thought when I had cancer and apologized to me.  I smiled at her and gave her a big hug.  I told her, it’s okay, you were not informed and held misconceptions about having cancer.  Now, you can be a voice to educate others.    

Nobody asks to get cancer.  People might think that a person must have done something wrong, been bad, or countless other reasons.  The truth of the matter is that cancer just happens.  


  One thought on “Being Shunned for Having Cancer

  1. July 5, 2022 at 7:20 am

    Reblogged this on Cancer: The Upside.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. July 5, 2022 at 3:53 pm

    When my dad was diagnosed with liver disease in 2016, I sent out emails periodically, updating everyone as to what was going on. Answering phone calls all the time was exhausting! Just enough to let them know what was going on and we’re all okay.
    Back in 95, when I had cancer and going through chemo, I believe my mom dealt with most everything. Although I couldn’t tell you for sure…I was so exhausted and out of it. I had to drop out of college because I just couldn’t keep up.
    Each of us deal with these situations differently. I think you handled it appropriately!

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 10, 2022 at 9:21 am

      Hi Holly I’m sorry to learn that your dad had liver disease and thank you for sharing your experience with your dad’s as well as your own cancer battle.

      I can relate to the cancer battle and being extremely exhausted and out of it most days after the aggressive chemo treatments. I am sure that my mom dealt with that on her own as well.

      Thank you again for sharing your story and for your kind words of encouragement and support. I really appreciate your continuous reading and liking of my blog as well as your feedback.

      Hope you have a wonderful day 🙏🙏👍😀🤗❤

      Liked by 2 people

  3. July 12, 2022 at 5:29 am

    You’re just so right Kelly. There’s no reason why cancer happens to some and doesn’t to others. It’s one of the many questions that have no definite answer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 12, 2022 at 7:27 am

      I agree 100%. Thank you, Gibberish, for your continued support in reading, liking my blog and providing feedback. Your kind words of encouragement really mean a whole lot. I truly appreciate all your insight. Have a wonderful day!

      Liked by 2 people

      • July 20, 2022 at 5:46 pm

        Much love to you my dear❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      • July 21, 2022 at 7:16 am


        Liked by 1 person

  4. July 20, 2022 at 6:27 pm


    Liked by 2 people

  5. August 6, 2022 at 8:30 am

    I am so sorry 😢for the reaction of your friends. You were admirable in your response to them. People are scared of big things like cancer or mental illness and tend to back off out of fear. You were so young and I assume your friends were, too, and probably had no experience with cancer so backed off. It must have been very hard for you but you are a very kind soul and, it seems, understood despite the fact that their remarks had to have hurt you. I am very sorry. 😢💖✨🙏🙏🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 6, 2022 at 8:29 pm

      Yes Ellen unfortunately their words caused a lot of pain but thank God gave me the comfort n support to keep going. I understand that fear of the unknown makes people say hurtful things without knowing specially when they think the person they are talking about is not listening. Thank you for your understanding. Your support really mean a lot.♥️🙏🙏😊

      Liked by 1 person

  6. August 6, 2022 at 9:10 pm

    Yes, friends can be very disappointing. And hurtful. It is out of ignorance and lack of empathy. I am so sorry you overheard their remarks. I am sorry for your pain. God is the only one who doesn’t disappoint and, if we are lucky enough, one or two friends and, if we are blessed enough, a mate as well. I look forward to hearing more about you, Kelly. And to your posts. ❣️❣️🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 6, 2022 at 9:51 pm

      Thank you Ellen I agree with you 100%. God never disappoints and yes God blessed me with one best friend. He also blessed me with a wonderful soul mate. And now I feel very blessed to 😊😊have met you as well. You are a true blessing in anyone’s life. 🙏🙏♥️♥️😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

      • August 7, 2022 at 10:17 am

        Thank you and feeling likewise on this International Friendship Day! 😍🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      • August 7, 2022 at 4:37 pm

        Wow Ellen thank you so much. Happy International Friendship Day! 🎉🎉🙏🙏😊😊❤❤

        Liked by 1 person

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