As each day passed, I counted my blessings to be alive and able to fight another day. Although, as I would go to sleep at night, I did not know what the next day would bring. For me, no two days were alike in my cancer journey in regards to side effects and the way I felt physically. Each day in my journey was a like a suspenseful mystery that brought joy, tears, pain, and above all hope.
In an effort to keep my spirits up, I would listen to proclamations from different people that were uplifting and encouraging. Believe me, at times, despite my best efforts the effects of my chemo would cause me to feel depressed. With this said, I knew God was at the throne and in control of my destiny therefore I needed to sustain my spirit with the word of God. During one of the proclamations, it was stated that in order to reach your goals, you need to keep your vision in front of you. Huh, I thought internally a vision of victory sounds like a really good idea to me. I listened very intensely to what was being said and decided to follow one of the recommendations mentioned. I added a picture of myself (pre Cancer) next to my appointment calendar with a note under the picture that said, “Cancer-Free.” I would look at my calendar every morning therefore, I would see my picture when I was healthy and happy and see the words that I sought to hear each day through my journey. Actually, by seeing this each morning, I started to widen my vision by viewing each step I took as a step closer to reaching my vision. Every time I needed to start my next chemo regime was so daunting that I wanted to skip the sessions. On the other hand, as I starred at the photo, I knew that each chemo session was helping me get closer to reaching my goal of being cancer-free. At times, it took a great deal of self-convincing to go get the chemo treatments but this was the path to reaching the end goal. When I felt so weak and torn, I would pray to God. I needed to wholeheartedly trust in God and stop thinking that I was inconveniencing God with my prayers. I was placing limits and stipulations on what God can do for us when in fact there is no limits to the abundance of blessings God can provide to us. As I prayed with an open heart, I felt a sensation of relief and joy and comfort overcome me. I knew in my heart that I was not alone in this situation and that God was standing beside me through every step of this cancer journey. Although, I did not know what the next day would consist of and what I would have to endure, I felt that I was strong enough to go through it because God does not give us more than what we can handle and he is always there by our side no matter what.
For me, I internally held close to my heart the vision of living a life being cancer-free, but the toxic chemo treatments caused horrible physical and mental side effects that made it difficult for me to maintain a strong positive mindset all the time. Having a physical object illustrating my vision was a constant daily reminder that I could reach my goal and that each waking day was one step closer to victory. I am cancer-free now, but I still maintain the same vision. Now I have a vision board to remind me of this goal and other goals that I want for my life. Plus, each year, I celebrate my new birthday on the day that I was told that I was cancer-free and I write it down on my vision board to remind me of how many years I have continued to be cancer-free. Keep your vision in front of you with a picture, vision board, t-shirt, mug or any other object that will be a constant reminder for you that your goals are within your grasp.