Broken

After completing the cancer treatment and receiving the great news of being cancer-free, it was a joyous moment where I felt like I had successfully climbed mount Everest.  Although, I felt happy, alive and grateful, I was not at all prepared for the aftermath of the difficult cancer battle.  

I felt elated, grateful and blessed that I was able to return to work.  I recall going through different outfits and getting ready for my first day back at work. As I walked in to work with a smile on my face, I quickly noticed that although everyone was excited that I was back and they smiled back at me, I also saw anguish, shock and concern in their expressions.  As I walked by, I could hear people starting to whisper to each other. I was so excited to be back I ignored all of that and I thought it was all in my head I must be overthinking the situation.  I was supposed to ease back into work slowly therefore, I was only going to be in the office for four hours since I was only working on a part-time basis until the doctor would tell me I was cleared to go back full-time.  Later on, I did overhear some co-workers speaking about my appearance and saying, “that poor thing.”  Hearing these words pushed my negative thoughts over the edge, I mean let’s face it I was already struggling because I was having a hard time retaining information.  Negative thoughts overwhelmed my mind questioning “did cancer break me? Am I broken”?  Well, if I was being honest with myself, I did not look the same physically as I did before my cancer battle. I mean I pretty much had a bald head, and some hair was barely growing out. I did look a bit pale and frail.  I also had lost a significant amount of weight. The negative thoughts in my mind kept asking “am I not normal anymore? Am I considered broken because I had cancer?”

Instead of letting my fears take over, I turned to my spiritual side and asked God to help me be restored physically and mentally.  After lots of prayers, I felt that I had received a response from God, telling me that I was not broken.  Yes, my mind and body needed time to heal, recuperate and to be restored from the rigorous cancer battle.  Things don’t magically change overnight from the aftermath of a cancer battle therefore, I must hold my head high and walk with a mindset of restoration and healing for this was only temporary.  God gave me the gift of life and I don’t want to waist a single minute of it.

#Healing

  One thought on “Broken

  1. May 24, 2022 at 7:42 am

    Let whoever say whatever. You know the truth of it, you are a survivor, a winner, and just watch, when storms come to visit where they live, just see who they come to for advice on how to cope, to be strong, to survive!

    Liked by 1 person

    • May 26, 2022 at 7:43 am

      I agree with you 100% Thank you for all the support and encouragement. I really appreciate it.👍👍

      Liked by 1 person

  2. May 24, 2022 at 8:14 am

    Auguri sinceri e vivissimi. Pensa solo a te stesso e lascia perdere le varie chiacchiere. Prenditi tutto il tempo per ristabilirti e tornare in forma come una volta prima della tua cruenta battaglia. Chi sparla a sproposito non ha idea di quello che sei stato costretto ad affrontare. Tu sei stato forte ed hai vinto. Loro sono deboli perché sanno solo malignare. Ciao e auguri di nuovo per la tua nuova vita.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 2, 2022 at 7:47 am

      Ciao grazie mille per le tue gentili parole di incoraggiamento e sostegno. Apprezzo molto. Auguri anche a te

      Liked by 2 people

  3. May 28, 2022 at 5:23 pm

    It’s such an uphill battle initially to convince oneself that cancer doesn’t mean not being normal anymore….with time and prayers, the mindset shifts to being grateful to just be alive , who cares what people think or say or dont say. Much love to you 💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 2, 2022 at 7:35 am

      Hi thank you so much for your kind words of understanding and support. I truly appreciate it. Much love to you as well 💕💕👍🙏🙏😊

      Liked by 1 person

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