After the accident, I had a hard time sleeping because of the intense pain, bruising and feeling of shakiness had not subsided. Although, I only slept for about 3 hours, the next morning, I felt that I needed to take care of everything. I made several calls and send out numerous emails to inquire about the police report, check on insurance, check on car at impound, car rental, work and try to figure out any other details. My brain felt like it was going on all cylinders trying to process and think of all the details that I needed to take care of. Of course, my body reminded me that I was in a great deal of pain and that going to work was not ideal. Also, I was informed that the police report was not ready yet. And on top of everything else the car rental locations around the city did not have any vehicles available. I felt I needed to take care of everything immediately but nothing was happening according to my plan. At this moment, I realized I was not taking care of myself and giving myself time to heal from a major accident. Also, it hit me that I was trying to be in control of the situation. I thought I knew best and insisted on making things happen on my own strength within my own timeframe. Due to all the delays in the process, I realized that I needed to give up control and entrust the Lord with everything. Delays in the process were happening for a reason; therefore, I needed to relinquish control and just trust that God would resolve my problems.
The accident happened on Tuesday and tried to resolve everything on Wednesday, but I did not receive any resolutions until the following Monday. Although, this was not my plan, the time it took for me to start seeing results in the process allowed me to give my body and mind time to heal. I decided to take time off from work and listen to God. My body and mind were badly injured and I was trying to ignore that fact and try to move forward. This was not the right steps to take. I feel in my heart God allowed the delays to happen so I would do what was really necessary which was to take care of myself. The things that I was trying to resolve are material things that are not as important as taking care of myself and allow for my body and mind to heal. Healing is the most essential part of this process and I was ignoring it.
Now, I am still recuperating physically and mentally, but the days that I took off from work allowed me to heal better. I was able to release the shaky feeling and return to a better mental space where I felt ready to drive again. If I would have gotten a rental car right away, I don’t know what would have happened. Everything happens for a reason and I am glad for the delays because I now know that I was not ready to drive right away.
In my life, I have experienced numerous catastrophic traumatic events and if you have read more of my blog entries you know that my life has not been easy. At times, when I think everything is back in order in my life, something happens that throws me off course. During these times, some family members and friends make comments that cause to question why God allows things to happen in my life. I tell them, remember just because I believe and trust in God, doesn’t guarantee that life will be easy and without trials and tribulations, but it means that with God, I can rest assured that I am not alone. Remember with God all things are possible.